Hourly wages.
Even prenatally we hear it. Though the shushing lub-dub of our mother’s pulse, dampened by fluid,
time is money.
Then we get our first job, at the ripe age of 14, we learn it first-hand. Literally watching a clock and equating it with minimum wage nickels and dimes. As a cashier at a suburban movie theater, time really was money. Through the window I had a perfect view of a digital clock tower atop a bank. Each minute was worth just over eight-and-a-half cents.
Once that mindset gels, it’s easy to plug anything in this time-money equation. This led me to drop-off service. In Brooklyn, it was cheap, and if you valued your time at anything more than $1, you were actually making imaginary money by doing laundry drop-off service. And that equation also lends itself well to checking up on credit card bills, aberrant phone charges and so on. If it’s worth a decent hourly wage, then the molasses minutes of hold music are worth it.
This is how I met TLG - Just For Me representative Judy Akansas, Judy Deepthroat, or Judy DeepSouth. Monikers aside, her first name was Judy, and the hamster running in her brain was plumb tuckered out.
Many moons ago, my credit card company, JP Chase sent me a check. A tiny $9.someunevenamountofchange check. It came with no explanation, and looked … suspiciously, like a refund check.
Fasting forward (and breaking the fast, atoning and so forth) to today, TLG-Just For Me billed my for $59.95. Lord knows who or what they are, how they found me, and why I owe them cashmoney. Anyhoo, the statement also had an 800 number. I nancy drewed that shit, and that brings us back to Judy McInbred. Eventually my words reached her (moneyback moneyback moneyback, how did you find me) reached her, ad I left happy, with all my faculties intact.
But just for kicks I did a search on TLG Just For Me to see what it is. I still have no idea, but I did find a ton of sites regarding the current lawsuits against them and JP Chase for credit card scams.
Que interessante, or French Toastes.
The moral is, I made $9.someunevenamountofchange in about 20 minutes. I still feel a little underpaid, but it won’t go in the regrets column in my permanent record, buried in a capsule ‘neeth the Geenpoint oil spill